RANDOM THOUGHT - Waxing Philosophical

This is funny, sort of.  What I'm finding in my own quest for self-improvement is that commonsense really isn't all that common.  Perhaps for reasons other than I first assumed.  When I see people make decisions that are way different from a decision I'd make in the same situation, my first reaction is, "Wow, what a dummy!"  But when I'm fortunate enough to see the consequences of that person's decision, sometimes it works out splendidly for him (or her).  Not always.  It's having that sense of openness to learning from whatever life puts in front of me that gives me peace of mind and a sense of wonder.  Enlightenment is always a choice and it's always available.

The point I'm trying to make is people will make their own decisions, given the benefit or misfortune of their own background and experience.  Just because people do things differently doesn't make them foolish.  It doesn't even mean necessarily that they're misguided.  They may be ignorant, and when comparing them to your own life experience, how could they NOT be ignorant of what you'd do?  That's where higher levels of communication skills can help them discover your thought process.  Share your insight.  Maybe it's relevant to them (maybe not, but a chance at a meaningful conversation is worth creating a new path).

If there's such a thing as commonsense, then there's probably a thing as common ignorance.  If most people don't communicate their thoughts and feelings, then there's nothing but miscommunication all around.  So the common ignorance is better communication.  People think communication is all about them talking and the other listening.  Really, it doesn't work that way.  Listening and understanding has to work BOTH ways.  Listening is not just the other person's responsibility.

I think there's something in the quote that breeds judgment in people who simply take it at face value.  If I look at a decision that other people make and, for no other reason than it's not what I would do, if I immediately think they're foolish, then I'm being judgmental, aren't I?  If there's a chance to instruct, or at least share my thought process that would lead to better results, shouldn't I share?  If I can do it respectfully, then what do I have to lose by opening my mouth?

My cousin the massage therapist had a male guest who never had a massage before.  When she uncovered his legs, she saw he had on those (silly) long shorts, covering his entire thigh.  And they were noisy like diapers.  At the end of his service, she suggested to him that for future appointments, if he WANTED his legs massaged, he should feel comfortable removing his shorts.  He smiled.  It's important not to be assuming or condescending.  For all my cousin knew, he had a bad scar, or had an embarrassing disfigurement, or was ticklish, or didn't want a strange woman touching him there, or simply didn't know what to expect from a massage, or who knows?  Whatever.  Over the course of time, my cousin has her hangups, and she makes up stories in her head about why people do what they do, but she has grown careful not to make assumptions about what's true for other people.  In the end, she wanted him to know that he was safe in the room, but there's no law that says people have to take off their shorts for a massage just because it suits the massage therapist.  (She wants me to alert you that the profession addresses itself as "massage therapist", not "masseuse".  The word "masseuse" went out of style and into disrepute with the French massage parlors of the 1800s.  End of Public Service Announcement.)

Back to Kermit.  I think the key phrase in the quote is "deal with it".  So why not deal with it like an adult?  Communicate.  Negotiate.  Instruct.  Guide.  Teach someone how to navigate their problem so they win in the end.  Give the person a chance to explain why he (or she) made the decision he did, so perhaps you'll learn to see from another perspective.  This is really wonderful actually, when poor and middle income people get to ask questions of upper middle income and wealthy people.  Perhaps better stated, when consumers get to find out how to become producers, the whole game changes - hopefully for the betterment of the seeker.

If you're fortunate enough to know ethical people who have created and amassed some wealth (and you can replace "wealth" with "health" or "lasting relationship" or whatever you'd like to acquire and develop in your own life), invite them to lunch or coffee and ask them some questions.  You might be making mistakes that they've already learned how to avoid, which would mean you're the person they see as lacking commonsense.  

  

Make someone else's day magical!

Mackenzie

#randomthought

#philosophy

#commonsense

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