Random Thought - Not so random. I'm talking about COVID-19

I've been stuck at home without work since the middle of March 2020 because of the coronavirus pandemic. That's four months.

Friends tell me their personal stories of how the virus has infected their loved ones. I stay home.

I've heard how a friend fretted over her brother because he caught Covid-19, spent fourteen days in an ICU ($240,000 bill), had to be quarantined at home for thirty days after that, and hasn't been the same since. He can't stand or walk for more than fifteen minutes at a time.

It's a hoax, some say.

I've heard how another friend fretted over her cousin who caught Covid-19 and spent time in the ICU, recovered, and caught the virus again.

It's a hoax, some say. I don't think so.

I saw a timeline on Facebook about a man whose friend said Covid-19 was a hoax. He went to a beach party, caught the virus and kicked the bucket the very next day. There is the mistaken idea that covid-19 doesn't affect the young. This is false. A friend who works in infectious disease control has seen youths/kids come into the hospital with the virus, and while they survive, they are not the same afterward.

It's a hoax, some say. I don't think so. I stay home.

I was talking to a cousin a few nights ago and her sister-in-law's brother died from Covid-19. I put on my mask the next day and went grocery shopping to get Milo's treats. I don't go anywhere outside without my mask on. After I touch door handles, I sanitize my hands. Over and over, every single time.

Tonight I saw a headline that my county just got a surge of 10,000 new cases in the past week, so the county mayor enacted a curfew effective until August 1st. I don't do any grocery shopping after 11:00pm anyway, so I'm fine with a curfew.

Some say it's a hoax. I don't think so. I stay home.

I do, however, feel trapped. Not because of the curfew, but because of the unsubstantiated argument that this is a federal power grab, a conspiracy, an infringement on individual liberties.

That's not the point in the slightest. This pandemic is a global threat to public health. The government has powers vested in it to address situations like this, and they are exercising them. These anti-government protesters wave their rifles, and threaten the health of everyone in close proximity, because they're "FREE". Wear a mask or suck on a ventilator for two weeks and bankrupt yourself into the next lifetime. Hard head make for a soft behind, that's all I know.

Put on your 😡mask in public. 

And wear it properly - over your nose and mouth. Ffs

RANDOM THOUGHT - Thoughts on Prison Break's performance

The irony isn't lost on me that I've written a few different posts and tweets on breaking out of writers block, only to be cursed with a spell of it for over two months. Prison Break Part 1 marked an escape, so to speak, and I was so excited that I promoted it like crazy. Its popularity took off like a rocket, which made it that much more rewarding.

Part 2 also did well in terms of numbers of views. Truth be told, Parts 1 and 2 made it to the top 4 posts on my blog (the blog has nearly 150 posts since going live in July 2018, so that's saying something).

Part 3 turned into a bit of a disappointment.

I think I understand why.

Readers got attached to Lucky Lucy and Madwoman Cheri, but my imagination couldn't see a way for them to stay free, so I couldn't write their success. In that, I let Lucy and readers down. This just brings home the old truism for writers: WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW.

I don't have the slightest idea how to evade law enforcement. If I believed in Lucy or in myself as a writer, I would have asked some of my, how to say, more successfully rebellious friends for ideas on how to get Lucy to safe harbor.

Next time, friends. I promise I'll do better.

As it is, Lucy hasn't yet been read her Miranda rights, so it's possible I'll write Part 4, but I'm not committing to that, as of right now.

Have a magical day and please accept my apologies for poor storytelling.


Mackenzie

RANDOM THOUGHT - Self-Control, Innocent Lives, and Parasites

Of all random thoughts, this may be the most random.

I spend way too much time on Twitter, but I still get things done. A question was posed about what we control. This question goes back many centuries, perhaps even before the Stoics. While it's perfectly obvious that we don't control external events, even though we want to, we almost don't even control ourselves. Add in the subconscious to the mix of influences, and we become beyond anyone's control, even our own.

When we act impulsively or reflexively, we're basically operating from the crocodile brain. This may serve us well in fight or flight circumstances, but not at all when dealing with loved ones or coworkers or clients/customers. 

We can practice mindfulness and meditation and written exercises and dream analysis to grow our awareness of triggers. I have more than a chapter in my WIP dedicated to getting aware of triggers and stopping reflex and going toward conscious responsiveness.  It was hard, but so fucking worth it in the end.

Those who are not taking ownership and responsibility for their own lives but feed off the kindness of strangers are parasites.  I'm talking about people who abuse gofundme. A certain fellow ex-Jehovah's Witness joined a private online group, chatted a bit, complained about his life circumstances, asked for money and promptly left the group.

This left a bitter taste in my mouth, to be perfectly honest.  I thought the group would be supportive, but not used as crutches.

Whether the Jehovah's Witness way of thinking to rely on God to solve all our problems fed into his parasitical approach to social media is beyond the scope of my knowledge, but I can speculate.

I'd sooner donate my money to save animals. They are innocent lives and are not parasites the way some humans can be.

Once you free your mind, the Matrix becomes your playground, not prison.

royalty free image

That is all.

Be well and have a magical day!
Mackenzie

RANDOM THOUGHT - Darkness vs. Evil

It's the day after Christmas and I should probably be thinking on the year behind for lessons learned and contemplating the year ahead for goals to strive towards.  In a little way, maybe I am.  I've been reflecting on a tweet that I saw not long ago.  A Christian tweeted about defeating darkness, and he equated darkness with evil.  It's hard to explain, but my first thought was, "how childish."  I replied to his tweet with a question, but he never got back to me.  I won't describe what I think of an ego that can't engage with a conflicting point of view.  Maybe the Christian tweeter just never saw my reply.

In my mind, darkness is not a force to be crushed or defeated.  How do you even go about eradicating shadows?  I imagine one would have to position light fixtures from every conceivable angle and never turn them off.  But in an artist's mind, rendering a subject with 100% light would flatten the image and make it cartoonish.  Rendering shadow gives an object dimensionality, and that is the stuff of life.  Artists must make friends with shadows or their art loses credibility.  In real life, we don't turn off the light switch and turn on the shadow switch.  Darkness is no more than the absence of light; it has no real existence of its own.  It's just a default setting.

We don't live on an artist's canvas.  In real life, we must navigate in daylight as well as in shadow.  The earth will not stop spinning, so night time will always come - literally and emotionally.

There is a difference between darkness and evil.  Darkness is inevitable and, as we tell children at bedtime, there's nothing to be afraid of.  Evil, on the other hand, thrives on our fears and hides in the convenience of darkness.  It's not the darkness itself that we can eliminate and we really have no reason to want to.  It's the menacing evil when we magnify our fear that causes problems.

I've written a post or two about overcoming fear, so I'll leave it at that.

I would, however, like to draw the reader's attention to a best-selling book that has been around for several years and will always hold a special place in my heart: Women Who Run with the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés.  Estés describes and explains the power of various cultural myths like a wise sage instructing young ladies on the verge of adulthood.  Many of the myths concern sacred traditions of maturing that require learning from uncivilized sources.  These uncivilized sources may be considered "dark" or "witchy".

My contention is that darkness is a fact of life and the strange creatures that dwell in the dark can be fantastic instructors.  Dark creatures are also God's creatures, so let them serve their purpose. There's nothing to be afraid of.


Merry Christmas, Happy 2019!  Make someone else's day magical!
Mackenzie

#WomenWhoRunWiththeWolves
#overcomefear

RANDOM THOUGHT - My phobia

The TED Radio hour on NPR was on and the guest was the director of sensitivity or cultural studies or something very benign like that.  She's Muslim.

My phobia isn't Islam.  My phobia is radicals.  Radicals can be Christian or Muslim, and my feeling is that peaceful worshipers can't claim that violent worshipers aren't included in their religion.

There was a point in time when mainstream Christianity was violent and bigoted and racist and anyone-but-us-o-phobic.  I'm assuming the same was true of Islam.  The word Islam means peace but it also means submission to God's will and you know who determines what God's will is: Men in power so God's will is whatever they say it is.

There are simply too many passages in "holy" scripture describing a wrathful, raging, vengeful God to sincerely believe that organized religion is supposed to be peaceful and loving and forgiving.  It just wasn't always that way when the faithful lived in nomadic tribes.

It was perfectly acceptable to be homophobic because gayness is "against God" or "against nature".  I've got news for people like that.  Natural lions in the wild can be gay.  Here are the YouTube results to that search ----> https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=homosexual+lions

(c) Independent Co UK

Lions don't know God or doctrine.  They just are what they are and do what they do.

My point is that organized religion takes on the cultural flavors of the day.  Today's flavor is New Age.  When the religious zealots' "old guard" wants to keep the faith true to its original form by way of violence and hatred, they are still true believers.  I think they're completely f*cked up in the head and heartless and only hold dear the scriptures they cherry pick, but they are the object of my phobia.  There is plenty in religion that appeals to hate-mongers.  Believing otherwise is naive.  Perhaps a bit arrogant as well.  Human beings may be hardwired to "us vs them" mentality anyway (I'm thinking sports, religion, sexual orientation, race, nationality, politics etc.)

In my mind, God is all things, good and bad, male and female, known and unknowable, seen and invisible. 

But God is also too remote to play games with.  God is just there.  I am here on Earth trying to make my way and that's all I know for sure.  I won't kill you if you believe differently.

Make someone else's day magical!
Mackenzie

#thoughtsonreligion

RANDOM THOUGHT - A day of self care

Today started off even earlier than necessary, thanks to my furry "son" who wanted treats for breakfast.  I'm too soft with him and got out of bed.

Anyway, I submitted a magazine article on deadline. Check.
Blood work.  Check.
Shop at Trader Joe's for said furry "son" and Moscato for me.  Check.
Writer's group reading.  Check. (tied with the next item for best part of my day)
Massage and steam.  Check, check.
Home, make dinner (dinner for one with bipolar, of course. EASY check)
Session with writing/life coach (last thing to check off)

I list all this meaningless stuff to illustrate one thing.  A busy day can be accomplished with purpose and without being in a hypo-manic state.  Today was a day almost exclusively for my mental health. 

I did work. This article required some discipline.  The assignment was for a topic that I don't give a rat's ass about, but if I'm going to succeed as a writer (and that's the goal, right?), I have to write.

I submitted to the needle for my health. 

I took care of my furry dependent and had fun picking up a little suh-em, suh-em for my own pleasure.  Knowing my limits with alcohol and timing a glass of wine means I don't negate the important work my meds have to do.

Reading to an audience from This Darkness is Mine to gauge readability and get feedback from dedicated writers is mutually reinforcing.  Just because I write in a vacuum doesn't mean I'm writing for a vacuum.  The reader matters.  Whether the words (and grammar and punctuation) I've chosen convey the meaning and emotion I'm thinking and feeling matters.  And then the writing takes on its own life.  They get more meaning and feeling based on their own experience and memory.  That wows me!  Hearing that they can't wait to hear more fuels my heart.  This was arguably the best part of my day.

But then, I put the attention to my physical body and got a massage.  Normally, I don't fuss much or fight my massage therapists, but today when she found a knot or a trigger point or a tender spot (whatever you want to call it), I forced her to stop and focus on it.  What a difference that made!  She was so attentive and gifted and skilled, I didn't want to waste the opportunity.  We made jokes.  She said she was glad I was laughing through the pain. 

I said, "When it comes to pain, I'm like a ten year old; it's just funny.  I have to laugh at myself.  Do you ever get people who tell you to beat them up?"

"Yes, it's very upsetting."

"I don't get that.  If they want to get beat up, all they have to do is go to some hillbilly bar and pick a fight with the biggest, baddest dude they can find.  Why go to the most relaxing, most peaceful place on earth to get pain?  Makes no sense."

After the best deep tissue I've ever had, I took refuge in the steam room and sweated out some trace toxins.  The heat is supposed to minimize next-day soreness from a deep massage. 

Yeah, I got the elbow
Photo: Unknown

Steam Room at Lapis Spa
Photo: Unknown

Thank you Trader Joe's, once again, for making dinner a snap and delicious!

And now I'm waiting for another high point: a session with my writing/life coach.  I anticipate that the editing/refining work we're doing will be done by the end of March and then I'll have to forge my way in querying agents.

I'm quite proud of myself today.  I'll leave you with this:

We are never enough for what tomorrow will demand of us, but we are always good enough for right now.


Make someone else's day magical!
Mackenzie

#selfcare
#bipolar

RANDOM THOUGHT - What happens when you connect with a tribe of your own?

Ever since I started connecting on Twitter (with intention and purpose), I got exposed to people who have Bipolar, and some with other mental illnesses.  I've connected to writers.  I've connected to writers who write about Bipolar.  I've connected to people with Bipolar who write about it informally.

All in all, I'm still not 100% sure that the doctors are right about my diagnosis.  Much of my Bipolar behavior happens when I'm not looking, so to speak.  I don't know any way to describe my own invisibility when I'm manic. I guess it's like looking in a mirror and seeing no reflection.

I've questioned my diagnoses (Bipolar, schizophrenia, paranoid schizophrenia, depressive disorder, premenstrual depressive disorder) over the years but one thing became obvious: I cannot go any length of time without being medicated.

To date, my meds are very low dose.  5mg, that's all it takes.

My thoughts come at a rate of roughly 11 per second, and that's perfectly tolerable for me.  I can carry on a conversation most of the time.  Sometimes I space out and get distracted, but I believe my level of distraction is similar to "normal" people.  You better believe the concept of normal belongs in quotation marks. 

Normal is an elastic range.  I am in an elastic range that crosses over into normal and sometimes just on its periphery.  That's where my creativity is and I need to go there. 

Admittedly, it's better when I go there intentionally or I might not come back.

I've been lost in my mind before.  Some places are quite lovely and fascinating.  Others are deeply disturbing - that's the dungeon.

I said the post was random.

Thank you to my Twitter tribe.  While we all experience varying degrees of mania and varying degrees of depression, we all hold on to each other. 

I'll leave you with this - a link to another blog, and I invite you to watch the YouTube video embedded there.  Those racing thoughts are so frequent to me that that's my normal.  It doesn't alarm me.  I find my own reassuring and confident voice among all that static.

Things that help (although I'm not consistent about any of these things except bedtime meds):

Meditation (sometimes I go off the rails with this, but I'm trying)
Affirmations
Maintaining a journal
Assertiveness communication exercises
Talk therapy
Writing a book based on my experience, though it takes much discipline to learn the craft of writing and storytelling
Honoring my commitment to not give up on myself
Daily motivation video on YouTube
Searching for twitter hashtags on bipolar, mental health, mental illness, writers, writing, etc.
Positivity quotes
Just calling someone for a regular conversation
Work, for the sake of structure (and earning a living)

I'd ask for comments, but I know the site makes that challenging.  If you'd like to follow, please look for the BLUE FOLLOW BUTTON.

You can find me on Twitter @MackenzieLitt13

Make someone else's day magical!
Mackenzie

RANDOM THOUGHT - Visual imagery to overcome fear

Get some place quiet, close your eyes and imagine yourself as a little kid, the littler the better.  You're in your pajamas with your favorite bedtime toy and standing in a valley.

There is nowhere to hide.

Think of a fear that's holding you back.

Now, imagine how big that fear is.  Estimate each unit of energy of that fear as a man.  How many men equals the power of your fear?

Now, put every man on a horse.  Is it a 100 men, or a million men on horseback?

(c) Getty Images

Hear those men on horse thundering towards you in your pajamas.  They stop at the crest of a hill and you're trembling.

One man gets off his horse and approaches you. 

You say, "Why are you always chasing me?  You're scaring me!"

He says, "You don't have to be scared of us.  We're your cavalry.  We've been trying to tell you that you're our Queen/King.  We'll take you anywhere you want to go.  Where would you like us to take you?"

This is owning your power.  

That energy you've been scared of is inside you.  It's YOUR energy.

All this time, you've been devoting your own energy into scaring the living shit out of yourself, when all you need to do is take full possession of it and direct it outwards.  Lead that energy, YOUR energy, outwards to conquer and have what you want in life.

RANDOM THOUGHT - Waxing Philosophical

This is funny, sort of.  What I'm finding in my own quest for self-improvement is that commonsense really isn't all that common.  Perhaps for reasons other than I first assumed.  When I see people make decisions that are way different from a decision I'd make in the same situation, my first reaction is, "Wow, what a dummy!"  But when I'm fortunate enough to see the consequences of that person's decision, sometimes it works out splendidly for him (or her).  Not always.  It's having that sense of openness to learning from whatever life puts in front of me that gives me peace of mind and a sense of wonder.  Enlightenment is always a choice and it's always available.

The point I'm trying to make is people will make their own decisions, given the benefit or misfortune of their own background and experience.  Just because people do things differently doesn't make them foolish.  It doesn't even mean necessarily that they're misguided.  They may be ignorant, and when comparing them to your own life experience, how could they NOT be ignorant of what you'd do?  That's where higher levels of communication skills can help them discover your thought process.  Share your insight.  Maybe it's relevant to them (maybe not, but a chance at a meaningful conversation is worth creating a new path).

If there's such a thing as commonsense, then there's probably a thing as common ignorance.  If most people don't communicate their thoughts and feelings, then there's nothing but miscommunication all around.  So the common ignorance is better communication.  People think communication is all about them talking and the other listening.  Really, it doesn't work that way.  Listening and understanding has to work BOTH ways.  Listening is not just the other person's responsibility.

I think there's something in the quote that breeds judgment in people who simply take it at face value.  If I look at a decision that other people make and, for no other reason than it's not what I would do, if I immediately think they're foolish, then I'm being judgmental, aren't I?  If there's a chance to instruct, or at least share my thought process that would lead to better results, shouldn't I share?  If I can do it respectfully, then what do I have to lose by opening my mouth?

My cousin the massage therapist had a male guest who never had a massage before.  When she uncovered his legs, she saw he had on those (silly) long shorts, covering his entire thigh.  And they were noisy like diapers.  At the end of his service, she suggested to him that for future appointments, if he WANTED his legs massaged, he should feel comfortable removing his shorts.  He smiled.  It's important not to be assuming or condescending.  For all my cousin knew, he had a bad scar, or had an embarrassing disfigurement, or was ticklish, or didn't want a strange woman touching him there, or simply didn't know what to expect from a massage, or who knows?  Whatever.  Over the course of time, my cousin has her hangups, and she makes up stories in her head about why people do what they do, but she has grown careful not to make assumptions about what's true for other people.  In the end, she wanted him to know that he was safe in the room, but there's no law that says people have to take off their shorts for a massage just because it suits the massage therapist.  (She wants me to alert you that the profession addresses itself as "massage therapist", not "masseuse".  The word "masseuse" went out of style and into disrepute with the French massage parlors of the 1800s.  End of Public Service Announcement.)

Back to Kermit.  I think the key phrase in the quote is "deal with it".  So why not deal with it like an adult?  Communicate.  Negotiate.  Instruct.  Guide.  Teach someone how to navigate their problem so they win in the end.  Give the person a chance to explain why he (or she) made the decision he did, so perhaps you'll learn to see from another perspective.  This is really wonderful actually, when poor and middle income people get to ask questions of upper middle income and wealthy people.  Perhaps better stated, when consumers get to find out how to become producers, the whole game changes - hopefully for the betterment of the seeker.

If you're fortunate enough to know ethical people who have created and amassed some wealth (and you can replace "wealth" with "health" or "lasting relationship" or whatever you'd like to acquire and develop in your own life), invite them to lunch or coffee and ask them some questions.  You might be making mistakes that they've already learned how to avoid, which would mean you're the person they see as lacking commonsense.  

  

Make someone else's day magical!

Mackenzie

#randomthought

#philosophy

#commonsense

If you'd like to know when I've updated the blog, either click the BLUE FOLLOW BUTTON at the top of the DESKTOP version screen, or shoot me an email at MackenzieLittledaleWrites@gmail.com

RANDOM THOUGHT - Dogs and Cows

I've seen plenty of posts on Facebook where American activists are pushing for Korea to give up slaughtering dogs.  I wonder if any American would taken an Indian seriously if they organized to push us to give up slaughtering cows.  While Kevin Spacey may have fallen from grace, I can't help but be moved by his portrayal of a vegetarian in K-PAX.

 

Different culture have different values.

I think torturing animals (and humans) is just plain wrong.  Even when hunting.  The idea is a quick kill with minimal suffering.  But if Americans knew how their burgers and bacon were treated when they were living animals, perhaps they'd be ASHAMED of the industrial farming machine.  It's just heartbreaking.  Animals have feelings and longings and personality.  One person I've heard of won't eat mammals, and perhaps that's a great rule for dining humanely.

That's just my opinion.  And I do love a good burger.  That's why I want to try Adina's at Gulfstream.  Farm to table type restaurant.  Grass fed cows.  I can't deny that predators on this planet eat other animals and humans are predators, but there's no moral reason to keep prey living in shitty conditions all the days of their lives.  So I'd like to try grass fed burger because the animals get to live their normal day to day grass-eating lives until it's time to be converted into dinner.

RANDOM THOUGHT - (Skin)tone it down

My family is mixed race, and I grew up in a sea of white, so I'm accustomed to treating white people on a case-by-case basis as to whether I like a person's personality and character.  I've never generalized or thought of one white person as a credit or discredit to their entire race.  My uncle drilled that into me.  I'll let my cousin hit on that in a bit.

And then there's my cousin.  She told me about this "cute guy at work" and said he was her complexion, her "favorite color".  The moment it came out of her mouth, I saw the look on her face and we both knew something had changed in her.  Something unsettling.  She explained it along the following lines:

"It's been a very long time since I stopped worrying about whether my skin color was socially acceptable, and now this.  To hear myself say my own skin is my favorite color means I'm more aware of my brown-ness.  So what if white people find their own skin color not just good, but preferential?  Does that alone make a white person racist or bigoted?  Knowing that the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania has white supremacist supporters means all of a sudden, I can't trust random strangers with white skin like I used to.  I hear 'white devils' in my head and it scares me and it makes me angry.  I haven't had rocks thrown at me for being an unwanted black in a white neighborhood since my teens!

"It makes me mad because the voice is persistent and insistent, like shouting in a whisper that I'm in danger in their presence.  My place in society is insecure.  It makes me mad because it shouts louder than the memory of my dad telling me over and over that the Civil Rights Movement would have been dead in the water without support from white people.  It makes me mad because I still trust and love the white people I've always known, loved and trusted, and why shouldn't I?  They haven't changed.  How could I even bring this up with them?

"I'm 57% European, and 38% Sub-Saharan African, so can I afford to pick sides in race riots?  Skin color is no indicator of character or income level or education level or virtue or vice.  But America may be boiling up.  This is backlash for a Black man to make it to the White House, but I never thought it would infect the way I think, the way I see skin color.  It's making me paranoid.  Will that redneck in the pick up truck threaten my safety?  I used to know that rednecks aren't all racist.  Live in the south long enough and you even know that the Confederate Flag doesn't necessarily mean racism abides in the house behind it.  It takes discernment.  Discernment, not complacency.

"Even saying that the cute guy was my favorite color doesn't even mean that I won't consider dating white guys or darker guys again.  I could meditate on this, and I'm hoping I'll come to see that the only thing that changed inside me was I came to find myself my own favorite person and nothing more.  Me first, not me only.  I just wish the race paranoia would cipher itself out."

(c) Shutterstock
We're all in this together

Is there a social issue related to race relations in the USA that's gotten your attention and what do you think about it?  Feel free to comment.

Feel free to FOLLOW by clicking on the BLUE FOLLOW button near the top of the screen on the desktop version.

Make someone else's day magical!
Mackenzie

#RaceRelations
#BlackLivesMatter
#AllLivesMatter

RANDOM THOUGHT - Mexican Proverb

They tried to bury us.  They didn't know we were seeds.

(c) unknown.  Seen online

Who couldn't love that?

We all go through "it", whatever "it" may have been, could have been, would have been, will be.  Just remember that life is impartial most of the time.  We all get treated unfairly at least once in our lifetime.  We all get blamed for things we didn't do.  We all get off Scot free over things we really shouldn't have done in the first place.

What's left to do?

Just learn from it.  Tuck it away in the back of your mind and keep on growing upwards and outwards.

For example (this isn't me getting buried by anything other than guilt), I had a boyfriend once upon a time.  His mother told me in a joking sort of way that he used to want to grow up to be Annie Oakley.  It didn't occur to me that that was a sort of gender identity crisis and I didn't take it seriously.

Said boyfriend and I were on a double dinner date.  When he got up for the restroom, I told his (CO-WORKER friend) about the Annie Oakley thing.  They made fun of him when he returned to the table.  I thought it was hilarious, but my boyfriend was humiliated, and I couldn't understand why.  That's what happens when we're insensitive, and it wasn't until years later that I really got it, how I'd been a b*tch.  He couldn't turn his back on me for a second, which meant I was untrustworthy and lacked integrity.  When it hit me what I'd done, it was too late, and the guilt set in.

I could stay buried under the weight of my own guilt, or I could find out what it meant to have integrity, to be loyal even when I was left to my own devices, and grow upwards and outwards from that.  I'm under no obligation to stay stuck in my own darkness.  God's light within can shine and it's always a choice worth taking.

Make someone else's day magical!
Mackenzie

RANDOM THOUGHT - The English Language isn't Politically Correct or Incorrect

It's been a long time since I sat in English Lit, but I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that Millennials are trying to make English conform to good politics.

In my day, if a sentence referred to a singularity, the pronouns were he or she/his or hers.  Now, everything is "they".  This is just bad grammar, if you ask me.

I'm writing an article and when I reference a client, I refer back to her or him, because that's singular, but I'm being corrected to refer back to they.  This doesn't make any sense to me.  A "they" is a plurality.  A person is either male or female, a he or a she, generally speaking.

I don't think I'm old enough to be old-fashioned, but there it is.  I am part of the binary gender system, by nature.  I think of humanity broadly as men and women.  People who don't fit into those categories have political rights; no one should deny that.  But in terms of a writer writing to an audience, I'm expecting that the overwhelming majority of readers understand that a singular person is going to be either a he or a she, not a plurality of a human.  Sexual orientation and gender identity are irrelevant to grammar.

It's not up to me to stop the English language from evolving, but please, it doesn't have to evolve to be political.

Make someone else's day magical!
Mackenzie

#PoliticallyIncorrect
#RandomThought
#EnglishGrammar

RANDOM THOUGHT - Can we remove "hysteria" from the dictionary please?

noun

1. an uncontrollable outburst of emotion or fear, often characterized by irrationality, laughter, weeping, etc.
2. Psychoanalysis. a psychoneurotic disorder characterized by violent emotional outbreaks, disturbances ofsensory and motor functions, and various abnormal effects due to autosuggestion.

(Dictionary.com)

hys·te·ri·a

 (his-tē'rē-ă),  Negative or pejorative connotations of this word may render it offensive in some contexts.

A term derived from the ancient Greek concept of a wandering uterus, denoting maladies involving physical symptoms that seem better explained by psychological factors. The concept of hysteria is historically differentiated into somatization disorder and conversion disorder, both of which are considered types of somatoform disorders in the DSM. The current ICD10, however, places conversion disorder with dissociative disorders, not with somatoform disorders. See: conversion, psychogenic, psychosomatic.

[G. hystera, womb, from the original notion of womb-related disturbances in women]

Farlex Partner Medical Dictionary © Farlex 2012

I'm rather pleased that this word is out of favor, perhaps the only time I'll ever assent to a word or phrase being labeled "politically incorrect".  I would prefer though, that the word disappear!

To have a neurotic condition named specifically for all things FEMALE is really insulting.  Please retrain your vocabulary if you're not referring to something so funny, you LOL uncontrollably.  'Ppreciate ya.

Make someone else's day magical!

Mackenzie

RANDOM THOUGHT - The brain: Automatic Thought Toaster

I'm reading a short story and I'm getting the sense that one of the main characters is a Gen X or Millennial parent.  Guys who I know don't write texts like this parent.  "Give us a call?"  The punctuation is all wrong; it belies anxiety, and then it hit me:

All this modern psychology about expressing ALL of our feelings is probably not in anyone's best interest except the psychologists.  For anyone to express the full range of their REAL feelings everyday would be to admit we're completely out of our own control, and people who can't control themselves are nuts and need supervision.  They need psychological therapy (see how that works?)

I think it's the very act of expressing EVERY little thought, EVERY passing feeling that demonstrates an inability to make a decision about what thoughts passing by are worth believing, holding on to and accepting as our own.  Was it Will Smith or Chris Rock who said if you never thought about strangling your partner, you don't really know what love is?  See, we don't have to act on every thought or feeling.  Just fantasize for a minute and then get back to the real tasks at hand in real life.

I like to think of the brain as an automatic thought toaster.  Thoughts just pop out.  We are under no obligation to believe every single thought that pops to the top of our minds.  Same with feelings.  Feelings just come and go.  It takes real mastery to control one's own feelings and make the positive productive and constructive feelings ones last no matter what circumstances are going on.  (I struck out "positive" because sometimes happy talk is inappropriate.  That and the word itself has become annoying).

Or I also like to think of my mind as a little bit more orderly.  It's more like a Ferris wheel.  Thoughts take a ride and periodically circle their way to the top, hang out for awhile so I can consider them and then the next comes around.  Any thoughts that are no longer welcome or serving me get kicked off the ride - if they're particularly offensive or counterproductive, I can kick them off mid air.  Being immaterial, I can kick thoughts clear across the continent if I want to.

It's entirely possible that less scrupulous psychologists are actually making people sick and anxious.  I have little to back that up with, but that thought will stay on my Ferris wheel until I uncover some factual basis for it.

(c) unknown
Seen on Facebook

#modernpsychology
#MackenzieLittledale


Make someone else's day magical!
Mackenzie

RANDOM THOUGHT - Need: The f'ed up 4-letter word

I find it sad that needy people are considered weak and undesirable.  As if "need" is some kind of 4-letter word.  At the core of humanness is a whole set of needs that must be fulfilled in order to call life satisfying.  Our needs were even categorized and put into a hierarchy by Abraham Maslow, which every general psychology student knows.  We're all needy. 

What makes one person needy, if we all have the same needs ranging from basic to transcendant?  I'm not crazy about being around clingy people, but where is the line drawn?  It's not the need itself; they're all the same. The question must be one of degree. If a person loves himself enough to be satisfied, then his need for love from another person isn't going to suck the life out of that other person like a Dementor.  (Yes, I'm a Harry Potter fan.)

Maybe that's the line.  When the [fill in the blank from the hierarchy] required of me doesn't drain me then I'm happy to give more, and by the same token, when I fulfill myself, my need of others is minimal.  No one feels depleted without feeling equally replenished. Remember to replenish people.

So don't just have a wicked awesome day, give someone else a wonderful day, and I think your day will turn out wonderful in kind.

Maslow Hierarchy of Needs

RANDOM THOUGHT - Things I see on the road

Florida's pedestrians seem unconcerned for their lives.  They walk off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic.  They open car doors when they're parked when a car is pulling into the space next to them.  But what I saw on the road yesterday really blew my mind (in a confounding sort of way).

I was behind a couple cars in the far right lane at a red light and the road had three lanes. In the far left lane was an olive colored SUV in front of a red SUV.  We were all on A1A headed north.

The red SUV started honking, so I thought maybe the light was green, but that wasn't it.  The olive SUV in front of him had gone into reverse and was heading into the red SUV.  The red SUV kept honking, but olive SUV kept reversing until he hit the red SUV!  I thought a fight might break out.  That would have been logical, and therefore that's not what happened. 

Instead, the olive SUV driver put it back in drive and drove forward.  I thought the red SUV driver would have given chase, taken a photo of the offending driver's tag and called 9-1-1.  That, too would have made sense, so that didn't happen either.  This is South Florida.  Logic does not prevail.

The red SUV driver put his car in park and got out to check for damage.  I guess he saw none because he caught up to the rest of us.  I thought he would have gone searching for the olive SUV (I mean, it's not a popular SUV color, so he wouldn't have been hard to find, right?).  But no, traffic resumed as normal, leaving me wondering what kind of schmucks I'm sharing the road with.  I thought the nation's problem was meth.